Zlatan Ibrahimovic, the Swedish footballer, has just been given a gold record for his version of the Swedish national anthem, which has somehow been streamed three million times.
To put it in context, that’s 265 million fewer times than Fetty Wap’s Trap Queen currently has on YouTube. But, I admit, it is a lot for an anthem, especially one “sung” by a footballer and even if that footballer is so egotistical most of the streams are probably by himself.
I would like to celebrate this moment as a breakthrough for the subject of national anthems around the world. Unfortunately, I’m sticking to what I wrote last year: Zlatan’s recording sounds like William Shatner accidentally walked into a studio and tried his hand at Swedish. It’s so bad, I can’t even bring myself to embed it here.
Dear God, Zlatan, why’d you do it? WHYYYYYYYYYY?