“Get that son of a bitch off the field right now”

Was anything surprising about Trump calling American footballers who protest the country’s anthem ‘sons of bitches’?

Nope, of course not. It served its purpose – kickstarting a “USA! USA!” chant at his latest rally.

It’s also not surprising he had a completely different opinion last year either.

As it won’t be if he changes his view again next week.

It’s times like this, when I’d really like an American book publisher to get in touch and ask me to update my book for them!

The Republic of California? The nation of Pacifica? Whatever comes, get Katy Perry to write the anthem

You've got to admit, the proposed flag's really cool! Stolen from Yes, California's Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/YesCalifornia/

You’ve got to admit the proposed flag’s really cool. Stolen from the Yes, California campaign

Since Trump’s election, there’s been a lot of talk of the US splitting up: liberals creating their own countries; the Red States left behind.

California could join with its neighbouring states to form Pacifica. Or go it alone – an independence referendum might insanely happen in 2019, although the fact it’s been pushing by a man who lives in Russia seems to be confusing a lot of people.

There are other independence movements too, everywhere from Hawaii to Texas, even New Hampshire (only 1,691 Facebook likes for that one, so I’m assuming it’s a minor interest). But what all these campaigns seem to be lacking is one thing: a decent anthem to get behind.

Take California’s official state song, I Love You California, which was written by a clothes repairer in 1913:

I love you, California, you’re the greatest state of all
I love you in the winter, summer, spring and in the fall
I love your fertile valleys; your dear mountains I adore
I love your grand old ocean and I love her rugged shore

I know California is a home of positive thinking, but even a spiritual guru would find it hard to be positive about such sweetness.

So what are the options for the coming Californian republic? I imagine some would want California Dreamin’ – “I’d be safe and warm, if I was in L.A” – but you can’t have an anthem written from the perspective of a depressed exile in New York.

Hotel California would be a front-runner too, until people realised it could be misinterpreted as a call for mass immigration (“Plenty of room at the Hotel California…”).

So my vote goes for the a-maz-ing Katy Perry’s a-maz-ing California Gurls.

Ok, not the chorus when she says those girls will “melt your Popsicle”. And not Snoop Dogg’s bit. But it does have a verse that’s got a message any Californian would be proud of:

You could travel the world
But nothing comes close
To the golden coast
Once you party with us
You’ll be falling in love
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

I especially like the last line.